


breathe

by captainharsya23



Series: forever and always [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up, Song: Breathe (Taylor Swift), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainharsya23/pseuds/captainharsya23
Summary: #HQSwiftWeek2020Day 1: FearlessShouyou found it hard to breathe now that he's alone in Brazil without Tobio
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Series: forever and always [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922215
Kudos: 9
Collections: Haikyuu x Taylor Swift Week 2020





	breathe

**Author's Note:**

> It's a bit short and rushed but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out considering the first draft was pretty awful. Hope you guys like it!

The first thing that Shouyou noticed when he stepped out of the plane was just how much hotter the air was compared to Japan, though to be fair it was late Spring when he left Japan and from he knew, it’s supposed to be late Summer in Brazil. Shouyou didn’t really understand the whole hemisphere difference thing, but it have never really been something he particularly cared about. In the end, volleyball is still volleyball no matter the time and place.

He didn’t have to pick up any luggage, as he have everything that he brought to Brazil right on his back, but he figured he should probably tell his friends and family that he arrived in Rio safely. After sending a message to his family and to the group chat filled with his friends, his fingers froze right over Tobio’s name on the screen on his phone.

Right. Tobio.

Shouyou wondered what he’s doing now. It’s been a little over a day since he departed Japan, and Tobio wasn’t there to see him off. Which he expected, but he still couldn’t help but feel a sheer feeling of loneliness when he became aware of the black haired teen’s absence in the airport.

* * *

“You’re going to Brazil.”

Obviously, it was a statement and not a question. Shouyou knew that it’s coming, but he didn’t expect that it would come so quickly, before he even managed to gather up the courage to finally tell Tobio, to talk about it with his boyfriend. He knew it’s going to be hard, but he’s prepared to try and make it work, to try and keep their relationship despite the distance.

However, even Shouyou, for all his impulsiveness, knew that he’d need some time to ready himself for that. Not _now_ , when he’s still not even finished with organizing everything for his stay in Brazil.

“Tobio-“ Shouyou began, trying to come up with something to say. See, this is why he need time to prepare himself for such talks. He’s good at improvising and impulsive decision makings in a volleyball match, but he’s awful at that kind of thing in a social situation especially ones that involved a lot of emotion such as this one.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Tobio asked, straight to heart of the matter.

That, was the million dollar question wasn’t it? Why. Why didn’t Shouyou tell Tobio about his plans to move to Brazil. Why didn’t Shouyou tell his own boyfriend about something that would definitely have a massive consequence on their relationship? Through all that, there was never a moment that Shouyou thought of _how_ exactly Tobio found out.

“…and what would you do, if I have told you?” Shouyou asked. That was his biggest anxiety. What Tobio would have done, would have said if he had talked about it with him from the beginning. Moving to Brazil was something very important for Shouyou, both for himself as a person and as a volleyball player. He thought that maybe, if he talked about it quite late on the whole thing, Tobio would be more agreeable since the whole thing would be in motion already.

“I wouldn’t have stopped you.” Tobio replied without hesitation. “I-I thought that you trusted me enough to know that I would never stop you. Not for something so important.”

It was at that moment that Shouyou knew that he had fucked up. Fucked up _big time_.

* * *

Living alone in Brazil was hard. The climate was different, the language was different, the social norms was different. There were so many things that he have to get used to now that he lived in Brazil without much help from others, but he’s trying and working hard to take down those barriers. He knew that if he worked hard enough, eventually those obstacles can be overcame.

However, what should he do to get used to live without Tobio? His life had pretty much revolved around Tobio for three years up until before he moved to Brazil. For three years, Tobio had pretty much become a part of his life as much as he himself was. There was countless times that he had frozen upon almost calling Tobio once he’s finished with his part-time job. There was countless times that that he had almost called Tobio to invite him over for dinner because he made too much food. Habits that had developed over the years that he had only began noticing now that he’s alone.

If he had parted with Tobio in a much more amicable ways, as good friends instead of as ex-boyfriends that had just broken up, maybe it would have been easier. Maybe he could have let himself accidentally call Tobio for a dinner together with thousands of miles and hours separating them. Maybe Tobio would pick up his call and exasperatedly ask him what the hell he want from him at 7 AM in Japan. But he couldn’t.

“Goddamit, why am I crying over something that I did myself?” Shouyou asked to no one in particular as his tears began dropping onto the floor from his fetal position on the floor, leaning toward the wall of his rented room. The instant noodle he made growing colder with each passing seconds. He felt his chest constricting painfully, as it always did whenever he began thinking of Tobio.

For the last three years of his life, being with Tobio had pretty much became just like breathing. Something that was a given in his life, almost like a need, that he suddenly found to be something he felt like he couldn’t live without. Now that Tobio was gone, sometimes he found himself unable to breathe. That’s the problem with losing Tobio. Shouyou did not just lost a lover, but also his best friend, the other half of his soul for three years then.

Did Tobio hate him then? It’s very selfish of him to think that he never intended to hurt Tobio, when it was him who let his own anxieties and cowardice make him betray Tobio like that. When it was him who had brought it all upon himself. He have no rights to blame anyone but himself

Shouyou took a deep breath and began wiping away the tears from his eyes. It’s going to be hard, living alone without Tobio. But he still have his friends that he can call, his family to rely on. It’s not the end of the world. It might be hard to breathe without Tobio, but Shouyou knew that he have to, especially if he want to keep the hope of one day making things up with Tobio again.

**Author's Note:**

> A second part from Tobio's POV based on Forever and Always will be posted hopefully soon.


End file.
